Posts Tagged ‘oxbow academy’
Tuesday, May 14th, 2013
Therapy at Oxbow Academy is more than just sitting in an office talking. We use everyday activities and special recreational opportunities as teaching moments to help the boys better understand themselves and their world. Recently, our students had the opportunity to participate in a relay race. One of our boys wrote about his experience and the life lessons he learned from it. Here is his essay:
Invictus Race
On Friday the third of May, Oxbow participated in a race against other group homes. The race consisted of three legs with six people per leg, and was 33.25 miles long. We started the day off by making teams. We decided to make two teams with the amount of people we had. There was an A team consisting of six members, and a B team consisting of 10 people. The B team had extra people to help them run the race. We drove down to Gunnison, where we met with other group homes. We talked about the rules of the race and made sure everyone knew which legs they were running.
The start of the race was pretty cool, because for a few minutes almost all of the runners were neck to neck. What was awesome was that Oxbow broke out in front after a few minutes and finished the first leg in first place. The runner was supported by the rest of his team when they drove past him and cheered, “Attack! Take the lead now!” This gave him the motivation to push himself further than he thought he could and take first place. Once in first he continued to push in order to gain a bigger lead and overall help the team.
The second runner had a longer leg than the first one. He ran two miles.Due to the length of the run he had to overcome the mental barriers that he was fighting with internally to withstand the distance and maintain and widen the lead. He pushed himself past his own point of exhaustion, and knew he would better himself and the team if he worked hard. He finished his leg in first with amazing time and strengthened the lead.
The third runner had the same distance to run as the second runner. He struggled a bit more though. Our team struggled to support this peer because we did not necessarily know which ways he likes to be supported. We drove next to him in the van and gave him positive encouragement, some even got out of the van and ran next to him for support. He struggled by walking. A kid from another group home decided out of the kindness of his heart that he would stop and support our teammate and give him a positive outlook. He then realized what he needed to do and finished the race strong. It taught the group the benefits of good sportsmanship and positive encouragement applies to everyone not just your own team or the people you like.
The fourth runner had a shorter but strenuous leg. He ran a mile up a very steep hill. His run was very difficult and began to give up due to his fatigue. Yet he did not give up because of the support of his teammates and the encouragement he was given. He finished his leg strong and then relaxed in the van, where he received compliments from his team for his accomplishments.
The fifth runner had a longer stretch down and up hill. His leg was 3 miles long. From the beginning of his run, he stayed strong and kept a consistent pace. He struggled to accept the support of the group, but at the same time he was thankful for it. The group was there for him in his time of trial, and supported him throughout the hardest moments of the race. He finished his race and lengthened the lead.
The sixth runner had a mile leg. This runner had a hard time because in his mind he felt physically he was not prepared and he definitely was not prepared mentally. He told himself that he could not run the length. Through the group’s constant and sometimes aggressive support, this runner pushed himself and finished his leg. He realized how he needed to step up and lengthen the lead rather than try to get away with the bare minimal of his athletic ability. He was very close to giving up and that harmed his emotional state.
Throughout the rest of the race every individual struggled overcoming the physical fatigue that came with each step they had taken. We stayed in the lead, and found out ways how to support our runners and keep them going through their hardest times. Everyone put in a really good effort towards the team. As we raced we saw other teams cheating, but we did not let this affect us and helped us realize how cheaters never prosper when we crossed the finish line first. We finished 8 minutes and 52 seconds before the second place team. For the rest of the day we had a bbq and had a good time hanging out with our teammates.
This race strengthened our relationship by helping us find new ways in which we can support our group members and each other. However, we had a long day but we all felt accomplished and proud of our prior actions. We all enjoyed participating in the race, and would do it again soon.
Tags: Asperger's, Autism spectrum, child sex abuse, family counseling, family therapy, oxbow academy, RedCliff Ascent, residential treatment center, Runner, Running, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, Signs of child sex abuse, Signs of teen sex abuse, Team, teen sex abuse, Teen sex counseling, teen sex therapy, teen therapy, therapy
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »
Tuesday, May 14th, 2013
Experiential therapy is a key part of treatment at Oxbow Academy. This approach doesn’t look or feel like traditional therapy. It’s hands-on and in the moment. Recently, Residential Director Bill Pollock and Equine Director Tony North took the boys on a trail ride. Here is how Bill and some of the boys described the event. It’s a little long but we think you’ll enjoy seeing what therapy looks like at Oxbow:
From Bill:
“Thinking about the different advantages of working in the residential setting with our boys. I was reminded of the opportunity we have as mentors to influence and encourage change within each young man that comes to Oxbow. We spent a weekend with some of our students, participating in a service project that involved miles of fencing and a full day of work. At the end of the day myself and Tony (another mentor) had each spent time with all the boys individually teaching, talking, and listening as the boys talked in an environment that was free from the every day Oxbow. Each boy was gaining perspectives that surrounded hard work and pushing through fatigue as they got tired. It was interesting to listen to perspectives and analogies from the boys. Each of them telling their own story and relating the experience to things that were pertinant to them in their current situation. Many of the boys talked about fatigue and not wanting to push through, followed up by a sense of accomplishment when the fence was complete. The bigger reward to this trip became the horse ride the following day. During this ride we went through, across, and under things that created situations that were uncomfortable for the boys. This created opporutinities for us to talk about being vulnerable, feeling a sense of helplessness, trust, relationships, and overall learing to support each other as they worked through the obsticles of life. Overall in a program that is therapeutically intensive, there becomes a power in experiential activities with these students that supersedes almost anything we do. The gains that have been made by students learning from these experiences continue to amaze all that have participated in them or heard about them after the fact. The break downs, the successes, the “AH HA” moments, the memories of overcoming uncomfortable, creating a sense of accomplishment outside of an assignment will be something that cannot be replaced. It becomes a bitter sweet experience, participating in and influencing change.”
From a student:
The ride
On Friday I had a pretty long, hard day. We woke up around 6 in the morning and began making our way down south. I was with the five of my closest friends, Cameron, Astley, Joe C, Joe T, and Jesse. Once we got down south we began clipping barbwire to fence posts. It was a service project. I learned how to attach barbwire, and how to put in the posts. It was a tiring day. At night we went to a motel. Tony began cooking dinner, and the six of us kids began to run focus group. We individually discussed what ego states we functioned in throughout the day, and how we helped each other during the day. I helped Astley get out of the rebellious child ego state by giving him positive support and a better outlook on what he was struggling with. I learned how to strengthen relationships, and I realized how grateful I am for the close relationships I have with these people. On Saturday we woke up and ate breakfast burritos. They were really good. Then we went to the pasture and caught the horses. I realized how good the relationship is that I have with Chip when he came over to me and I was able to put his halter on with ease. We then fed the horses and gave them a chance to drink water. We then tied them to the trailer and saddled the horses up. We then loaded them into the trailer and drove down to canyons right near Bryce canyon. When we unloaded and finally got there, we started right near water. We rode through the water, to a very steep hill which I thought we could not make up. Chip worked really hard on going up it and made it successfully. Brandon’s horse struggled making it up the hill. I realized how much support I have when I saw Bill go down and grab Brandon’s horses lead rope and guided him up the hill. It made me realize how a lot of things are possible, especially with support. The ride went really well for the next three hours. We rode on slick rock and it was amazing. All of the beautiful colors on the rocks, and everything was awesome. I have never been anywhere so beautiful in my entire life. A really hard part of the ride was when we were on the slick rock. We had to follow every instruction precisely, and if we did not we could have gotten hurt. Thankfully everyone respected the decisions the leaders made and followed their directions and instructions. There were times when we went down very steep hills, and times we went up very steep hills. I had to show Chip I trusted him by loosening up on the reins, knowing he would make his way up. We decided to stop at a spot in the shade for lunch. During lunch I played with the dogs, and had a really fun time. We talked about how the ride went, and what we were feeling at the time. We then began riding again about 45 minutes later. I felt like something was different. When I was riding I kept seeing Chief (Tony’s dog) but I realized I had not seen Waldo (one of Tony’s other dogs) in a few minutes. I asked Tony where he was and he said he did not know. Tony and Brandon turned around and rode back looking for him. They had no luck. We began riding again, without Waldo. I felt really sad, feeling like there was something I could have done. When now Tony is without one of his dogs. I felt terrible. I felt very vulnerable. Everyone got really sad. At another time we had to get off the horses and walk them down a very steep slope, it was really scary. I realized how much I trust chip. We left Tony and Brandon that night when we started driving home. They went and looked for Waldo the next morning. They found him eventually. Tony and Britta came to school on Monday night and they brought Waldo. I was so happy to see him. I learned that how I felt when Waldo was lost is how my mom feels when I am away. I learned this through Tony and Britta. I had an amazing weekend which I felt I gave back to the community during the service project, and at the same time I feel I bettered myself in a new and positive outlook. I would go on the ride again anytime.
From Joe T:
The service project that we did and the ride that we went on was great. On Friday when we left, I slept the whole way down there. When we got there I saw some of the same cool guys I saw there last time, Coot, Brad and Mark. I think these guys (including Brandon who came later) made the ride and time there a lot of fun and added humor on to what we already had. I learned how to finish my job of fencing down there with tying the ties. I got a good tan and unsuccessfully jumped a dry creek. When the day of work was over and we went to the hotel, we chilled and watched a bit of ESPN. When it was dinnertime, we all destroyed Britta’s chowder because it was so good. Me personally I had 2 full bowls. The following morning I woke up, had about a 3 minute shower because that’s all I had time for, had Tony’s Jesus like breakfast burritos and left. When we got to catching horses, it only took me 2 tries this time. I pulled Henry out and brushed him until Mark took him to shoe him or something. Everyone saddled their horses and then I briefly freaked out because I was worried I wouldn’t be able to saddle in time, which wasn’t the case. Henry came. The whole ride back I slept because I didn’t know what else to do. The whole next day I bugged Ruthanne to text Tony to see if they found him b/c I heard rumors that they did. I got my answer on Monday night at school, Britta came in and called us out and he was there. They talked about, that those feelings we had towards Waldo, were the way our parents felt when they dropped us off. I understand completely what they were saying. We didn’t want to leave Waldo, but we had to for the better of others. Our parents didn’t want to leave us, but they had to for the better of the family and the community. And just like it was hard for us to leave Waldo, it was hard for them to leave us. That was my experience.
From Joe C:
As far as this desert ride went, the only difference between it and the last was I. Friday morning we went to go finish the fence we started last time, which was not as hard working since we were wiring instead of pounding, but it was still some quality work. Afterwards we went back to the hotel to shower, eat dinner, and go to bed. While cooking dinner I engaged Bill in a conversation that may have been uncomfortable for him, but overall helped me cope with my struggle to mask and try to fit in. Then as night crept in and I found myself wishing, that Brita could have come along because she would have had fun. When it came time to cook up breakfast and load up, I was quick to give tony a hand with all the miscellaneous items. We hopped in the truck and headed over to pick up the horses. Dolly picked the back corner of the field to stand and wait for me, which was better than the other horses, which fought to escape capture. The couple of days before the ride I was expecting Dolly to be freaking out and I was surprised at how calm she was, and past that, how calm I was. The ride itself was next to flawless because of how in tune Dolly and I were. The only issue I had with the ride itself was when my favorite dog Waldo went missing. I was not sure when if ever I would see him again and actually cried out of grief. I kept picturing the silly look he always wore on his face and it made my sorrow worse. I thought he was a gonner until Tony and Brita showed up at school with Waldo and told me something that hit home. “The way you felt when Waldo was lost, is the way your parents feel about you.”
Tags: Asperger's, Autism spectrum, child sex abuse, family counseling, family therapy, oxbow academy, RedCliff Ascent, residential therapy, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, Signs of child sex abuse, Signs of teen sex abuse, teen sex abuse, teen sex therapy, therapy
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »
Monday, March 25th, 2013
As a parent, nothing can prepare you for the pain and anguish that comes with making the decision to send your child to a residential treatment facility. When I first said goodbye to my son, I felt as if the entire world had caved in around me. I had no idea how I was going to pick myself up and continue to walk through my life, having just handed over my child for someone else to parent. Entering Oxbow felt like the end of the world. Life as we knew it was over. Hope had diminished. And our family would never be the same. I had no expectations. I was depleted.
I have now spent the better part of 3 years entrenched in a world of disclosure and clarification, of structure and flags, of level drops and phase reviews. Innocuous words that would come to mean the difference between good days and bad, highs and lows and breakthroughs and brick walls, both for my son and for me. Along with this new language came new emotions and depths of frustration and despair I could never have never imagined.
There is no getting around the fact that this is a daunting journey. One I, personally, felt ill equipped to handle. How could I not? I mean there was nothing about what I was going through in any parenting book. When I chose to become a parent, no one ever warned me about this path. There was no “worst case scenario” pamphlet stapled to my son on the day I became his mom. No, this journey wasn’t even on my radar. Until one day, when I found myself living a life that was completely unfamiliar to me, a life for which I was completely unprepared. A life with issues so taboo, that not only is it NOT ok to talk about it, but, no one could possibly understand. And so, all of the sudden, I felt alienated. And depressed. And alone. And even ashamed. Some days I didn’t know how I was going to get out of bed. Some days I didn’t.
I have heard parents in support groups talk about the shame they feel about “falling apart” or “losing it.” I have heard parents say they felt that they were “not strong enough” to handle their situations. The truth is that we all have those feelings. And we are all going to handle them differently, not better or worse, just differently. Some of us will cry, some of us will withdraw, some of us will lose ourselves in our work and some of us won’t be able to get out of bed. The emotional toll this takes on us all is tremendous. Add to that the financial toll it takes and the stress level shoots straight off the charts. There have been days that I thought there was no way I was strong enough to continue. There have also been days that I have surprised myself with my strength. But I know now that there are going to be good days and awful days and I am allowed, even entitled, to them both. I just can’t give up. I can stop for a moment, cry it out or sleep it off, but then I have to keep going. We all do. And in order to do that, we need to allow ourselves to grieve the loss of the life we had planned, to grieve the loss of the parents we thought we’d be and the sons we thought we’d have.
I have seen a lot of families come and go. I have been to every parent seminar, some twice, and I have spoken to many parents in various stages of their journey. I have learned that while we cannot be expected to be strong everyday, neither can we be expected to have the strength to shoulder this burden alone. I have found that connecting to other parents was/is an important way to get the support I need and to feel less isolated. There is nothing better than hearing someone say, “I’ve been there.” It’s a tremendous relief to be able to share openly what I am going through and what I am feeling. We need to feel supported. We need to find people in our lives we can talk to, whether they are our partners, our therapists, our friends or family members, our clergy or other Oxbow parents. We need to allow ourselves to be supported by others and, in doing so, find comfort. It is not only important; it is imperative that we know we are not alone. For me, this was a huge revelation. It is the main reason I never miss a parent seminar. While they are always informative and insightful, for me the best part is hearing others share their stories. It’s being able to say out loud what is really going on with my son. It’s knowing that someone else has walked in my shoes. We are all connected on this journey and it is so important to reach out to each other and feel the support.
Next week will be my son’s final phase review. He is going to be leaving Oxbow. He’s ready. I’m ready, too. He worked very hard to get here, but he could not have done it without the support of his staff and peers. And I could not have done it had I not learned the valuable lesson of allowing myself to lean on others and ask for support when I need it. I’m proud of my son, but I am also proud of myself. I was right that we would never be the same again; we can’t go back and undo what has been done. But life was not was not over and the world did not end. It was a journey I never imagined I could survive. But I have. And so has my son. And not only have we survived, but we are looking ahead to new chapter of our lives with something we almost lost… hope. Karyn – an Oxbow Parent
Tags: Childhood sexual abuse, Childhood sexual trauma, family counseling, family therapy, oxbow academy, pornography addition, RedCliff Ascent, residential therapy, residential treatment center, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, teen sexual abuse, teen sexual behavior counseling, teen sexual behavior issues, teen sexual behavior problems, troubled teen, troubled teens
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »
Tuesday, February 19th, 2013
Bill Pollock, Oxbow’s residential director, recently shared this essay written by an Oxbow student:
“Basketball to me is really important. I look forward to every Tuesday night where I get to go out on the court with four of my closest friends. The other ten are there supporting me from the sidelines.
“Being here at Oxbow gets quite stressful and annoying. I always look forward to playing basketball. I’ve noticed that it is a way to see other people’s true character. I find how teamwork really works.
“Being on the court there is no time to argue or blame shift a bad play to someone else. Sportsmanship actually goes a long way. Our team as individual players are not the best, yet when we work together there is nothing we can’t accomplish.
“In the tournament at Snow College we played in we won it all. We beat a team with kids bigger, faster and better than us. We beat them because of how good our team dynamic is. I applied what I had learned at Oxbow 2 during the game and treated other teams with respect. I felt like a normal kid being able to have the opportunity to play with other kids in the same community. I felt very accomplished when we won and I felt like I had something to hold on to.
“I realized that basketball is actually an analogy for life and the relationships in life. My mom is the center and will always retrieve the ball for me and really wants to be able to give me the best possible opportunity to be able to succeed. I am the point guard, I have to be able to set up the play, really I have to find trust with my family to be able to listen to what they say and know that it will help me and then make the decision to pass to them. My brother is the shooting guard. He takes the shots. Really he puts trust in me to be able to set up a situation for him where he will succeed. My sisters are the small and power forwards where I have to be able to trust them that they will be able to succeed on their own knowing that I will always be there to support them and help them all the way. A family needs dynamic, just like how I have learned in basketball which really has helped me strengthen the relationships with my family.
“My friend Eli says, ‘It’s great to have a team with guys who have your back and work together with you.’ He feels that ‘everyone’s real personality comes out on the court.’ He says that basketball for him is a coping mechanism, lets him take his anger out. He struggles with his anger. Basketball reminds him of how life works sometimes and opportunity arises yet you don’t take it and later realized how big an opportunity it was and learned from his mistakes. Also, how there is time when you get too aggressive and have to take a timeout and spend some time on the bench, then you get a second chance and you use it to the fullest potential. ‘Just like this we have made some mistakes and our bench is Oxbow. Which helps us learn what we’ve done wrong and how when we are able to get back on the court (or life) we know not to make those mistakes again and we know what to do to succeed.’ He really uses basketball as a big picture reference of life.
“My friend Cameron says, ‘I like to be able to socialize with other people in the community who have good sportsmanship. He has learned how to work better as a team and with teamates. He likes being able to get time away from the house.
“My friend Naje says, ‘ Basketball helps me, gives me a chance to work with peers outside of therapy. It gives me an experience to stay fit and show that I am capable working with others who I don’t know which helps me build relationships.’
“Naje says he agrees with what I said about family. I feel that one day Naje may go and play on a college team.
“My friend Aaron says, ‘It’s a great way to release emotions and gain a better relationship with the opposite team. Also, basketball helps me stay away from negative behaviors and helps me know what true friendship and teamwork really is.’
“Basketball means a lot to all of us.”
Tags: ADD, ADHD, behavioral problems, counseling, family therapy, mood disorder, oxbow academy, RedCliff Ascent, residential treatment center, sex abuse, sex addiction, sex trauma, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, substance abuse, teen behavior problems, therapy
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »
Tuesday, November 6th, 2012
Today I spent time with the troubled teens in my therapy group at the East campus discussing some of the science behind the addicted brain. This topic was started because we were discussing how to change deviant thoughts into thoughts that are healthy and consensual.
Some of the phase work in the program focuses on gaining skills that will help them to change their thought patterns. We watched a couple of short videos (thank you, YouTube) showing neurological pathways and how information is sent to the brain and how “pleasure chemicals” are released in connection with certain thoughts.
After discussing briefly the science aspect, I helped them to understand that the things that they choose to think about can create new, fortify existing, or make dormant certain pathways in their brains. I emphasized the power that each student has to control some of the pathways in their brains, focusing especially those associated with addiction.
Although difficult, we know that we can control our thoughts, or how much we dwell on and think about things. We have choice and we have control. Our brains are able to create new pathways, new connections and new associations. Although we may not be able to completely physically remove pathways, we can leave some dormant.
Knowing that we have some say and control over our thoughts and responses to those thoughts can be empowering. Some group members appeared to be affected by this discussion today. I even got a couple of responses such as “This was a good group today” and “Wow, that’s why you have us do these assignments in therapy.”
Recovering from sexual behavioral problems is a long and difficult process, but recovery is possible. First we have to take control. When we choose to thought-stop or alter deviant thoughts to those that are positive, our behaviors change. Behaviors change because we are literally altering the neurological pathways in our minds to those that are healthier.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “You become what you think about all day long.”
We can all use this reminder from time to time. – Rachelle Gallup, CSW
Tags: behavior problems, family, family therapy, mood disorders, oxbow academy, RedCliff Ascent, residential treatment center, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, substance abuse, therapy, troubled teen, troubled teens
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »
Friday, November 2nd, 2012
I just tried to create a company profile for Oxbow on LinkedIn. We’re looking for as many ways as possible to let parents, private professionals, and even other programs know we’re out here – and we can help.
Oxbow is committed to educating families and professionals about teen sexual behaviors. There is so much misunderstanding and so much mis-diagnosis about the underlying causes of these behaviors.
As I prepared to submit the profile, the LinkedIn site warned me there was offensive content in the post and it was unacceptable.
No kidding. What isn’t acceptable, to me personally, is the way our children are bombarded with sexual messages from the moment they’re old enough to navigate an iPad (age 2 in the case of my grandson) to the moment their lives end – sometimes tragically due to substance abuse or suicide.
Why doesn’t anybody say that’s unacceptable?
I re-wrote our LinkedIn profile and softened it a bit. I used the word ‘sexual’ and included hyphens wherever possible. I wanted parents and others to still have a very specific understanding of what Oxbow is and does.
LinkedIn has a valid point. They’re trying to protect their site from being over-run with porn vendors. As parents, grandparents, neighbors and friends, we should do the same. Just how how much are we willing to engage with a media world saturated with sexual content?
We may have to tell providers of the cool, contemporary, or even critically acclaimed, “Sorry. Your content is unacceptable.” Jennifer Jones, Media Specialist, RedCliff Ascent Family of Therapy Services
Tags: family therapy, family troiubled teen, LinkedIn, media, media critic, oxbow academy, residential treatment center, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, substance abuse, troubled teens
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »
Thursday, August 16th, 2012
I recently spent some time with a good friend of mine who happens to be a foster parent. This friend is currently fostering a teenage girl who was sexually abused when she was younger. During our visit we went on a walk. Her foster child walked next to me and casually brushed her hand and arm with mine. Sometimes this behavior happens when walking along side of others. However, this happened multiple times within two minutes and I felt that her actions were intentional.
I recognized her actions as a form of sexual behavior called frottage. I felt very uncomfortable so I confronted her. She laughed as I shared with her both my feelings of discomfort and the inappropriateness of her actions. I established a firm boundary that under no circumstance should she do this to me again. She remained in denial and would not be accountable for her behaviors.
This type of situation is uncomfortable for all parties involved. But they should be addressed in order to establish and maintain appropriate boundaries. If I had not addressed this inappropriate behavior in the moment there were many possible consequences.
In a recent staff meeting we brought up the issue of frottage behaviors. We discussed how discretely our staff is sometimes groomed by students, and for multiple reasons. We talked about the importance of following your instincts or gut feelings on these types of interactions in order to increase the safety in relationships.
While at work, it is fairly simple to maintain appropriate boundaries with students because of the level of heightened awareness that is necessary in order to do this job. In our personal lives it can be a different story. Our awareness may not be as great because we are not anticipating this will happen to us. I know that my awareness is sometimes not as great as it could be and maybe needs to be.
Each situation can be an opportunity to educate others, regardless of the setting. People can always be pulled to the side and corrected. We live in a sexualized society. Sexual behaviors are much more common among children and teenagers. This does not mean that these behaviors are healthy and acceptable.
Part of the adult role, and one that I encourage my clients to take upon themselves, is that of educating others. I encourage the parents with whom I work to educate themselves and their children- to heighten their awareness and thus their safety and the safety of their family members. This is one way that we can increase the awareness and safety in our society. Just like the analogy of the starfish, where throwing one back into the ocean after it has been stranded on shore made a difference, we too can influence society, beginning in our own homes. - Rachelle Gallup, CSW
Tags: family, family therapy, frottage, oxbow academy, residential treatment center, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, struggling teen, troubled teen
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »
Monday, July 2nd, 2012
In a recent family therapy session, the parents of one of the clients with whom I work commented on how quickly their son was able to recognize and express the emotions that he was feeling while working on his therapy assignment. This may not appear to be much of an accomplishment to some, but for this client and his family it means something wonderful. Looking back several months ago to the beginning of this young man’s treatment at Oxbow he was not able to recognize his emotions, and believed that he did not ‘feel’. There are several things that can attribute to this inability: lack of insight, unwillingness, disability, and lack of emotional training. None of these appear to be preventing him now. His resistance is lowered, he is gaining insight into the ways in which his disability affects him, and he has had some much needed emotional training.
It is not uncommon for the young men with whom we work to begin their treatment at Oxbow with little emotional insight and few healthy coping mechanisms to help them deal with their emotions. Many young men are initially opposed to getting in touch with their emotions. Throughout their stay they learn of the necessity and strength that comes through being honest with their feelings and overcoming the thinking errors they have used in order to avoid them. This work is essential in order for them to feel empathy toward anyone. Empathy is essential in order to prevent damaging relationships. Students must develop empathy in order to heal themselves emotionally and assist in the healing of others.
Masking or avoiding one’s feelings through the use of thinking errors takes its toll on the lives of these young men and their families. The student I referred to is now taking the time that he needs in order to label his emotions and use healthy coping mechanisms to avoid shutting off his “difficult” emotions -the ones he would prefer to ignore. He recently stated that it is due to moving beyond his thinking errors that he has been able to be true to his feelings and gain insight into the feelings of others. He is well on his way to being able to express empathy. Coming from a young man who originally thought that he could not feel this is quite an accomplishment!
-Rachelle Gallup, CSW
Tags: counseling, emotion, emotional disorders, emotions, family, family counseling, family therapy, oxbow academy, RedCliff Ascent, residential treatment center, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, therapy, troubled teen, troubled teens
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »
Wednesday, May 30th, 2012
The “Smith” family shares their story of brothers who were victims and how they found help.
[audio:http://oxbowacademy.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Smith-Family1.mp3|titles=SmithFamily]
Tags: abuse, counseling, counselor, family, family counseling, family therapy, oxbow academy, parenting, RedCliff Ascent, residential treatment center, sex abuse, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, therapist, therapy, trauma
Posted in Podcast | No Comments »
Wednesday, May 30th, 2012
“John” and “Carol” could not believe the allegations from their son’s summer camp. But if they were true, what should they do to help their son? Hear their family’s story.
[audio:http://oxbowacademy.net/wp-content/uploads/Healing-Our-Family-at-Oxbow-Academy.mp3|titles=Healing]
Tags: abuse, camp, counseling, family, family counseling, family therapy, oxbow academy, RedCliff Ascent, residential treatment center, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, summer camp, therapist, therapy, victim
Posted in Podcast | No Comments »
