Posts Tagged ‘experiential therapy’
Wednesday, February 8th, 2012
I was having a conversation with a colleague of mine the other day, when he shared with me a story about something he had witnessed at one of our sister programs. It was a story that I instantly related to my own life as well as to the boys we work with everyday.
While on a tour with a consultant they were fortunate to catch an equine session in progress. The instructor was prompting the student to “apply just enough pressure” to the horse to get it to do what she was asking it to do; run in a circle. As the horse began to do what the student asked, she released the pressure, then the horse would turn before asked, or try to stop before told and she would have to increase the pressure. As the rhythm between horse and student came together, the student removed all pressure and asked the horse to stop. The horse then turned and walked directly up to the student in the center of the round pen, ears forward, nose down; looking for the next direction.
I recognize in myself a need sometimes to turn before asked or stop before I’m told. It looks a little different but essentially it is the same. We refuse to do what is asked of us and so we run in circles until we realize that if we would simply take the path of least resistance, attentive with our eyes and ears, all pressure would stop and we would be allowed to step into center.
Sometimes we need pressure to keep us going. Sometimes the things that we know are good for us are the hardest to do. That is how I feel a program like Oxbow helps these kids every day. Just enough pressure to help them understand that for all their running in circles, it will be better for them in the long run to stop and step into the center, ears forward and noses down. by Erin Nester, Admissions Coordinator, Oxbow Academy
To watch a video from our sister program demonstrating this concept, visit www.discoveryranch.net/videos “Colts & Kids 2″
Tags: ADD, ADHD, equine therapy, experiential therapy, family counseling, family therapy, horse training, horsemanship, lunging, mood disorders, oxbow academy, parenting, RedCliff Ascent, residential treatment center, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, substance abuse
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Tuesday, February 7th, 2012
Oxbow’s Residential Director, Bill Pollock, shared this essay by MS, one of our students. “This is the reason that we take the kids out and let them experience what we do,” Bill says. “It is always fun to watch them work through experiences and accomplish things they didn’t know they could.”
The Journey
Early in the morning a staff came to me and told me to get my winter clothes on. My first thought was,”Oh great, another silly ‘task’ to get done, and this time it was out in the cold!” Once I was ready, me and several other students loaded up in the van and the staff told us we were going to go track a mountain lion. We pulled away from the warm cozy facility and headed east. The other students and I slept on and off as we traveled toward the snow and cold. Somewhere in my dreams I heard a loud motor and woke to find we were stopped and a four wheeler with our Residential Director on it right outside the van. We piled out and headed for the trailhead.
The trail had over a foot of snow, but it didn’t appear that we were heading for the trail, exactly. We took one step off the trail and sunk to our waists in deep snow. My heart sunk with my feet into the cold snow. We trudged and slipped, plowed, pushed, stumbled, and crashed through the snow, using branches and sheer will to move forward. Finally we plopped down at the top of a hill, huffing and puffing to catch our breath. Our director and guide on this misadventure then informed us that we had only gone about 100 yards and we had roughly another 900 yards to go. I did some quick calculations in my head, recalculated again and no matter how I figured it the math came up the same. We still had a long way to go.
So we continued, slipping, plowing, pushing, stumbling and this time sliding around the terrain. As I was focusing on my momentum and the gravity pulling me down the side of a mountain I heard the dogs. They were baying, a very good sign. We found them, about a dozen of them clawing and howling at a tree. Our Guide and several other students were staring up at the tree. At first a saw nothing but snow covered branches, but as I moved around the tree I saw the Lion. Our Guide saw the look on my face and Laughed, clapping me on the back. It was truly one of the most amazing things I have ever seen.
About Twenty feet in the air, resting between several snowy branches was a full grown tom with paws the size of my head. I stood there shocked at how beautiful and majestic this creature was. I could clearly see the contours of his face and the way the natural colors of his fur blended together creating a stunning camouflage. He seemed content with his perch, despite the armada of canines at the base of his throne. His belly hung low over the branches, full of a fresh meal. He almost seemed to be falling asleep with his would-be captors only feet away. The epitome of feline nature, he sat with a cool head and crescent shaped eyes, looking down at the world as though he were king of it all. After some persisting he leapt from his perch in pursuit of a quieter one.
The trek out was equally as difficult as the one in but this one was peppered with taunts from our guide and staff about the delicious, warm dishes that awaited us. Most of my hydration was lost due to salivation over longing for that hot meal.
The day ended with no less than three pizzas and several boxes of cheese sticks from one of our favorite pizza haunts. It was an experience I will never forget and others that accompanied us will have to recover from. That exquisite face, proud eyes, and enormous body that peered down at us will live in my memory, as will the difficult journey required in order to see it with my own two eyes.
Tags: experiential therapy, family, family therapy, hunting, mood disorders, mountain lion, oxbow academy, RedCliff Ascent, residential treatment center, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, struggling teen, substance abuse, therapy, trapping
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Wednesday, November 30th, 2011
We’re reaching out to families and fellow professionals with a variety of social media tools. Hopefully, you’ll find one that’s a good fit for you and share your questions and comments with us.
You can find us on Twitter @teensexhelp. On Facebook, please search for Oxbow Academy and “like” us.
And there’s always the “old fashioned” way to reach us through email or responding to our blog. We look forward to hearing from you in whatever way you’re most comfortable with.
Tags: abuse, experiential therapy, family therapy, pornography addiction, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, Twitter, www.oxbowacademy.net
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Tuesday, November 29th, 2011
The holiday season brings about many struggles for parents of Oxbow students. Reality hits home as some parents realize that their sons are not in the place, therapeutically speaking, that would allow them to go home to be with their families over Christmas.
This has been a struggle for one of the families with whom I work. Several conversations have taken place recently that entailed progress updates as well as estimations on when their son could have his first home pass.
As students progress through the program at Oxbow there is a lot of emotional work required of them prior to their first home pass. This being said, there is no way to discern an exact time in which a student will be emotionally ready for this step forward. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes dealing with the reality of the situation, although that reality may exclude families from being together on some important holidays and in taking part in family traditions. This news comes as hard news to some parents, as well as to their sons.
Some families choose to make new memories with their sons during this time. The family mentioned previously decided that they would come to Utah to be with their son for Thanksgiving. They chose to use this time to build trust with their son, altering their family tradition of togetherness to mean something new and beautiful for their family as they work toward healing damaged relationships.
This year they are thankful for different things than they have been in the past. This family is thankful for the progress that their son is making towards healing damaged relationships, and all that means. They are thankful for the little things, such as their son’s ‘willingness to look them in the eye’ when speaking with them and for the feeling of truthfulness that they get from him. They are thankful for the good experiences that they are able to have with their son, now that he has increased the honesty in his relationships. They are grateful that they are able to see their son ‘grow to become a man’.
As these parents tried to express their thankfulness for this process, they said that no words can truly describe how grateful they are at this time for all that Oxbow offers their family in helping their son make these life changes. Although this Thanksgiving was anything but their tradition, they found themselves thankful. by Rachelle Gallup, CSW
Tags: abuse, ADD, ADHD, adoption, experiential therapy, families, family, family therapy, pornography addiction, residential treatment center, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, substance abuse, thanksgiving, troubled teen, www.oxbowacademy.net
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Thursday, November 10th, 2011
This last mid October Saturday, while hauling in the last two loads of hay for the year with five of the Oxbow boys, we stopped in between loads with the boys to grab a doughnut at the local bakery. The boys were so excited to get the doughnuts they had earned.
Two older couples arrived at the doughnut case just before the boys. Without saying a word, I watched as the boys waited with much anticipation while the two older ladies hand-picked two full boxes of doughnuts. This process took approximately 10 minutes, which seemed like a long time – even to me!
The older couples finished selecting their doughnuts and it was now the boys’ turn. The boys eagerly picked their doughnuts and we were off to get some drinks. On the way out of the bakery area I heard the older gentleman address me as the boys stood by Brita and I.
He said, “Sir, I wanted to compliment you on how respectful your sons were while we were picking out our doughnuts.”
I said to the man, “Thank you. They need to be respectful.”
Then the man said, “You can be proud of your sons. There are not many young people that would have had that much patience with older people.”
I told the man thanks for the compliment and that I was proud of “my sons.”
What a great day to hear that compliment about our boys! Thanks to the parents for having the courage to work along side of us at Oxbow with “our sons.” Thanks to all at Oxbow for everything they do to help the boys along their journey. Tony and Brita North, Equine Directors
Tags: abuse, ADD, ADHD, adoption, equine, experiential therapy, families, family therapy, mood disorder, oxbow academy, parents, pornography addiction, RedCliff Ascent, residential treatment center, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, therapy, troubled teen, troubled teens
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Wednesday, October 19th, 2011
Oxbow’s Executive Director Shawn Brooks and Clinical Director Todd Spaulding have been invited to present a seminar at the national convention of the National Association of Therapeutic Schools and Programs (NATSAP).
The invitation comes on the heels of a presentation called “Boys Will Be Boys?” made at local and regional NATSAP conferences.
In that presentation, Todd and Shawn taught other professionals at troubled teen programs how to identify students that may be struggling with sexual issues. They also explained, using examples from annonymous Oxbow students, how boys are able to get away with inappropriate sexual behaviors while they are in therapeutic programs treating them for other issues.
“Students will try to use humor or thinking errors to justify their behaviors,” explains Todd Spaulding. “Unless therapy professionals know what to look for, this kind of sexual acting out can be minimized or overlooked entirely.”
The national NATSAP conference is scheduled for February, 2012.
Tags: ADD, ADHD, blended families, experiential therapy, family, family therapy, mood disorders, pornography addiction, RedCliff Ascent, residential treatment center, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, substance abuse, therapy, troubled teen, troubled teens, www.oxbowacademy.net
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Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011
Sometimes our work can seem difficult, frustrating, and sometimes downright impossible. Then one day as we confront a student he reaches down inside himself and finds all that knowledge that we have been trying to teach him for months and it makes your heart soar. Every impossible moment is absolutely worth it. This happened to me just last week.
A student had struggled to make progress and working with him has sometimes felt a lot like beating your head on a wall. A mentor had asked him to redo a section of his chore and this young man started getting upset. At first he told the mentor to shut up and leave him alone. He was starting to spin when I walked in. I tried to calm him down and asked if he could please be reasonable and just do what the mentor had asked. I asked him to please pull himself together - it was nothing to get upset over. He then asked if I would please stop talking to him.
I figured, well, that is better than shut up so I said ok and went back to my office. A few minutes later I heard a small voice calling my name. I got up and went out. He was standing his hand on the mop, head down. He apologized for being rude to me and said he knew I was just trying to help!
Hallelujah! I realize this is a small step, but it is a positive step none the less. For this young man, I see progress in his future. Sometimes it starts small. by Erin Nestor, Admissions Coordinator
Tags: abuse, ADD, ADHD, adoption, experiential therapy, family therapy, mood disorder, oxbow academy, pornography addiction, residential treatment center, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, substance abuse, troubled teens
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Wednesday, July 20th, 2011
On June 29th, we had our monthly bonus activity – the one we have when none of the students have acted out. After several different activities were thrown on the table we decided on playing softball. The admissions team, mentors and students went over to Moroni to the soft ball fields. When everyone arrived at the fields we all lined up and counted off to divide into teams. It was kind of crazy at first, I think several of us forgot how to catch, throw a ball and even hit. After a couple innings everyone started getting the hang of the game. It was so much fun watching the different personalities come out in the students and even the staff. It was just a relaxing day with no pressure and no worrying about something important to get done. It was a day just to enjoy each others company and have a good laugh. We played about 9 innings then decided that we had played enough. After it was over we went back to Oxbow where Charlotte had prepared a BBQ lunch for everyone. We had hamburgers or hot dogs, salads, chips, fruit and dessert. It was YUMMY!!!! Overall, it was a very fun filled day. By Bill Pollock, Residential Director
Tags: abuse, ADD, ADHD, adoption, Baseball, experiential therapy, family, family therapy, oxbow academy, RedCliff Ascent, residential treatment center, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual dependency, sexual trauma, troubled teens
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Friday, June 24th, 2011
Yesterday on the news there was a story about family vacationing in Southern Utah. They were around a creek that, due to the high run off this year in Utah, was more like a river of fast moving water. The news report showed a water fall about 15 feet high. The water going over the falls was dark due to the runoff.
The story went on to explain that this family had lost sight of their young son. After frantically looking for him, the father jumped into the water below the falls feeling that was where his son was. He found his son and pulled his lifeless body up and on to the bank of the river. When he got his son to the shore he found two individuals, also on vacation, that happened to be experienced rescue workers. They began to apply their training and brought the boy back to life.
As I contemplated the story I was amazed at the courage and faith that young father showed jumping into that muddy water below the falls. He could not see if his son was in that brown churning water but jumped in anyway, risking his own life to do so.
Today I saw the same kind of courage while taking part in a treatment graduation phase review. I looked across the table at two parents who had lost sight of their son and knew their troubled teen was in peril. They were willing to jump in to the muddy, fast moving waters of treatment because, like the young father in Southern Utah, the thought of losing their son was not bearable. I listened as they talked about how difficult it was to leave their son in the hands of strangers. They talked about that as being the worst day of their lives. The fear was almost unbearable, but they did it. They talked about how difficult the treatment process was for them, how many times they felt so discouraged, and hopeless. Then, like that little boy on the bank of a river in Southern Utah, their son took a breath and hope came rushing back. They described watching their son make hard decisions and work through difficult issues and now, at the end of this treatment experience, they are standing with their son knowing he has earned another chance.
I can only imagine what the parents of the little boy in Southern Utah felt when their son took in his first breath and the signs of life began to show themselves. What powerful floods of emotions must have run through them in that moment! I think many of the parents I work with know how it feels to have hope return as their sons begin to battle back from addiction, self doubt, and destructive behaviors that, if left unchecked, would end their lives.
I have been blessed to work with and witness the most courageous parents as they take great risk in an effort to help their sons. To seek out strangers who are skilled and trained in applying treatment and then trust them enough to follow their guidance has been such an example of courage and strength to me. If that father would not have taken action and pulled his son from the muddy, churning water under the falls, his son would have perished there. But, like these wonderful parents I have the pleasure of working with, he took action and saved his son. Shawn Brooks, Executive Director, Oxbow Academy
Tags: adoption, courage, danger, drowning, experiential therapy, family, oxbow academy, parents, pornography addiction, rescue, residential treatment center, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, therapists, therapy, troubled teens
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Wednesday, June 15th, 2011
When Brita led the horse out of the trailer I was astounded. I had never seen such a weak, mangy looking animal in my life. I couldn’t believe the horse was able to stand on his own. His ribs stuck out and his coat was in patches. There were scars all over his body.
“He actually looks better today,” Brita said. “We’ve spent the weekend giving him hay and grass and his belly’s a little rounder.” I wondered how a horse could possibly look worse.
Brita and Tony North are the equine directors at Oxbow Academy, a residential treatment center for teen boys who struggled with sexual abuse, sexual trauma, or sexual addictions. The Norths answered an ad for a horse that “needed a little work.” What they found was a horse that was practically starving. Born in a freezing Utah December, the horse was orphaned at four months. Since then it had been abused and neglected, pushed away from food and water by the other horses in the herd. Brita worried that if they agreed to take the animal it would die during the three hour drive back to Oxbow. Tony was skeptical the poor horse could be rehabilitated. By the time the three of them arrived back at Oxbow, the Norths had come up with a plan.
In the treatment team meeting Brita told her colleagues about the animal’s history and noted, “He’s got a lot in common with some of our boys. What we if we gave them a chance to help him recover?”
Todd Spaulding and Gregg Lott, Oxbow therapists, were immediately on board. Both had students they felt could benefit from the rehabilitation project.
And so, on a sunny summer morning, the wobbly, weak horse moves slowly toward the Oxbow corral. I am pretty sure the horse will fall over dead on the spot. Brita is slow and gentle. Every move is deliberate because, as she says, “I really don’t know what to expect from him. Everything is new to him.”
In a few minutes Gregg and Todd, along with students David and James, arrive. Todd has explained a little about the horse to the boys on the drive over. I think even they are surprised at how bad the horse looks. They begin very carefully brushing the horse. He’s never seen or felt a brush. His hide is raw in some places, scarred in others, and somewhat normal looking in still others. There are some spots he simply will not allow anyone to touch.
Brtia tries to coax him to take a few bites from a bucket filled with a special mix of vitamin enriched grain. He needs the extra nutrition to begin to heal. But the grain holds no appeal for him. He doesn’t know what it is. Instead, he’s eyeing the weeds that ring the round corral. It’s all he’s ever known.
David and James, both adopted, have decided the horse needs a name. What was his old name? It doesn’t matter, they decide. His new name will be “DJ,” in honor of both of them. He looks pretty bad, Todd notes. That doesn’t matter either, they say. He’s their horse now. They love him. Todd and Gregg begin turning the conversation to talk of the boys’ own abuse. They talk about their adoptions and how much their adoptive mothers love them. They talk about scars and healing. They talk about reaching out and taking the help that’s being offered to them – the bucket of grain in their own lives.
More than an hour later the boys are headed back to the dorms with plans of what they’ll need to do next to help DJ gain strength. I am headed to the car wondering how a beat up paint horse could have that much effect on two teenaged boys. There are no guarantees any of them will be able to overcome their pasts. But all of them are worth the try.
Tags: abuse, ADD, ADHD, at risk teen, equine therapy, experiential therapy, family therapy, RedCliff Ascent, residential treatment center, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual trauma, therapy, troubled teen, troubled teens
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